“Amongst the dangers of living by the reason of others is the formation of regret. When you choose to follow your reasoning, and your heart- you can’t go wrong. This is when you achieve the most fulfilling life of all.”
— L. L.
Four years to the day, since my world was redefined in startlingly intricate hues of hazel and green. It comes most often in the night, this crippling, unendurable longing for you. For us.
I fight it every step of the way, you know. I fight it with music. I fight it in my dealings with other people. I fight it with writing, and the awful catalytic qualities of nicotine. This confession is a testament to that fact. It’d upset you to hear this, I know, and I’m sorry, but the Self has taken a backseat once again. It’s easier for me to seep away into nothingness and embrace the psyches of my fictional, imaginary friends than it is to achieve a stillness of the mind bordering on peace. Easier than accepting the fact that, though living without you isn’t ideal, it’s the only avenue available to me.